What Nobody Tells You About Alcoholism
11 things to keep in mind
In the spirit of helping you release that dead weight of alcohol, here is a list of things that are important to keep in mind as you consider sobriety:
Accept that you have a problem. Do not give excuses for your compulsion. Admit that you cannot control yourself and that you need help.
Understand that alcoholism is a disease, just like depression, cancer or measles. It is not a weakness or a lack of character. It is a medical issue and should be regarded and treated as one.
If you considered the possibility that you might be an alcoholic, you probably are. Honestly, most people that I know who drink are alcoholics. Very few actually have a healthy relationship with alcohol, which is actually a funny thing to say since alcohol is poison.
Yes, alcohol is poison. Consider the following data pulled from the CDC on deaths caused by drug or alcohol abuse in the US per year: 95,000 deaths caused by alcohol, 15,000 deaths caused by cocaine, 15,000 deaths caused by heroin and 36,000 deaths caused by synthetic opioids (like Fentanyl). Alcohol is poison and more dangerous than the most dangerous drugs.
If you have an alcohol addiction, you should never drink again. Not even a sip. Not even at your wedding. Not even on New Year’s Eve. Not even as a religious rite. The mind of the addict can be easily fooled. It wants you to think you’re fine and that you can have a sip or a drink, but you can’t. I was fooled into thinking that I could drink again once after I quit and it took me 5 months and a very dangerous incident to remind me that I couldn’t.
Please find a psychiatrist. If you can’t afford one, find a regular physician. You need medical attention and treatment. This is a disease. The doctor will evaluate your case and determine the best treatment. It may be just A.A., it may be therapy, it may be medication. It may be a combination of those. You may need to be committed. Whatever is the recommendation, embrace it, accept it.
Do not feel ashamed for being an addict. This is not your fault. Let me say it again: it is not your fault. IT. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT. Don’t mind what people say or think. You have a treatable medical condition, you deserve respect and help. You deserve people who will be there for you and who will help you through this journey.
Alcoholism can be spontaneous, it can be genetic, it can be a comorbidity with other medical conditions such as depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder and others. So, be sure that you are properly diagnosed and that everything is being treated correctly.
If you can afford it, please go to therapy. You need to understand your triggers, your weak spots, your traumas, so that you can deal with this addiction over time. You need to learn to deal with your emotions and your problems while sober. A friend from A.A. once told me that he had no idea how many problems he had until he quit drinking. You will have a lot to deal with in therapy once you are sober. But you will be in control of your life.
Stay away from your drinking buddies or any groups or friends that like going out for drinks. Avoid bars and clubs for a while. Just until you have learned to have fun sober. Embrace new activities, hobbies and friends.
Find an Alcoholics Anonymous group near you. I only went to meetings for four months, but that was enough to help me get out of rock bottom. Eventually I left because I thought it was too God-centric for me (I’m not religious). But even being an atheist, it still helped me a LOT in the beginning. Nowadays there are many types of groups. Find one that resonates with you. Sharing your struggle and knowing that you are not alone is important in this journey.
So, what's next?
You are not alone. So many people suffer with alcoholism and the stigma that comes with it. It’s a lonely disease, but it doesn’t have to be. Talk to your friends, your family. Join a support group. Share what you are going through. Write a blog, share your journey. It helps with healing.
It has been nearly eleven years since I quit drinking. All of my many psychiatric illnesses have improved greatly since. Any bipolar episodes I have had have been very mild and manageable. My AHDH has been easier to cope with. I’m much more emotionally stable and healthy.
I had to rebuild my career from scratch, but it’s OK. I’m getting there. In 2023 I gave a speech at my company’s offsite talking about my life-long struggle with alcohol and mental illness and — to my surprise — it was a big hit. I cried, my colleagues cried, many hugs were involved, and my boss was very supportive. The HR team actually bought loads of candy and lollipops and distributed them during the night so that I would have something to do with my hands throughout the parties.
I had to let go of many friends that weren’t really friends and I have taken much better care of my body and soul. I have become a great mother to my son and a better daughter to my parents. My son doesn’t even remember that I ever drank in the first place. He was five when I quit. He is now sixteen and he despises alcohol. However, I do talk to him about what I went through in the hopes that he can see how drugs can ruin one’s life and how hard it is to win it back. I’m hoping he will make better decisions than I did.
Sobriety is hard and it takes time. It takes trying. It takes believing. Don’t kick yourself in the butt if you fall off the wagon time after time. Just keep trying. Addiction is a chronic disease; it never goes away. But it gets easier over time. Get help, build a support system and work hard to create a better life for yourself. It will pay off, I promise.
With love,
Larissa
